Ask.Believe.Receive.

an·ger–noun1. a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.2. Chiefly British Dialect . pain or smart, as of a sore.3. Obsolete . grief; trouble.
     Psychologists and scientists have discovered that there are seven basic emotions: Anger, Contempt, Fear, Disgust, Happiness, Sadness and Surprise. While they are all fascinating in their own nature, anger is currently captivating to me. Anger is frequently referred to as a secondary emotion. Why? Because anger is usually masking a primary emotion that is vulnerable and more exhausting to deal with. Anger is extremely clingy, and obnoxiously codependent…it cannot stand alone, ever. When Anger stands alone it loses all its power and control. And then has you wondering why you waited so long to take your power and control back in the first place.
Don’t get me wrong, Anger is extremely powerful! But not by itself. It constantly needs to be fueled by another more powerful, vulnerable emotion in order to exist: embarrassment, hurt, disrespect, sadness, disappointment, attacked, afraid, offended, trapped, pressured…etc. These emotions are immensely powerful ALONE, too powerful sometimes to handle. So what do we do? We hit speed dial and have Anger deal with the sticky and onerous emotions, wipe our hands, and kick back as Anger justifies our soon to be regretful words and actions. Why do we make such a mess of things?! I once read that Anger is like an iceberg in the sense that only some of the emotions are visible…while the rest…and most…reside below the water for no one else to see. 
     Truth is…it’s easy to be angry. Think about how many times we have chosen anger over being sad, hurt, embarrassed, scared, etc. Think about how many stupid things we have said out of anger. How many dumb decisions we make out of anger. Think about how others have been hurt by our anger. And lastly…think about how much we hurt ourselves when we hold on to our anger. There’s this quote from the oh so wise and wonderful Buddha…
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”
     Now…in your right mind…would you ever hold a burning coal? If you answered yes, please stop reading now :) For those of you that are still with me…back to what I was saying. Anger is emotion we will always deal with, but it is up to us how long we choose to stay angry. When we foolishly choose to stay upset it is usually because our ego is determined to “prove a point,” “teach a lesson,” or “because we have a right to be angry, damn it!” And you are most certainly correct!!! You do have the right to carry that hot coal as long as your selfish ego desires!! Because let’s be real here…that is the only part of us that anger can truly inhabit, the ego. Our heart, soul, and higher self are far too brilliant and enlightened to buy into Anger’s pity games or deceitful shenanigans. What fascinates me is the moment we choose to see through the Anger and bravely stare at the fragile and very breakable interior. 
     We are extremely destructible beings…we do not even need an outside source because we are perfectly capable of self-sabotage and self-destruction. That is why we build walls…they are our insurance policy. Because quite frankly, depending on how bad the damage is…fixing something, repair, damage control is expensive…sometimes VERY expensive. Emotionally expensive…and emotional expense will ALWAYS outweigh any material expense. And sometimes we just either aren’t willing to pay up at the given time, are afraid to, or simply do not know how. So we leave the damage as is and…run away. Either way the damage does not disappear…it just increases and increases…with an interest rate that sends even the wealthiest to their knees. 

    The dangerous thing about Anger is…it will stay as long as you want it to…because there is no credit limit with Anger…happily charging your account until you have had enough…until you say stop!!! PLEASE!!! Anger serves as an American Express Black Card to temporarily buy out our emotions. How amazingly convenient and stupidly reckless all at the same time. Anger eats away at our soul…our goodness…our unconditional love…and in the end, that is what it costs us. Our walls fail us because they are built to be broken. They are the TSA of our sacred space. And sometimes no matter how great the screening process is…we get hurt and our security system fails us. So as the fire alarms blare, panic spreads, and chaos overwhelms us…we do whatever it takes to survive. And part of that survival is concealing our overwhelming, tender emotions for something more manageable and convenient…such as Anger. Ironic thing about survival is the emptiness in its definition.
sur·vive–verb:1. to remain alive after the death of someone, the cessation of something, or the occurrence of some event; continue to live or exist. 

live–verb: 
1. to have life, as an organism; be alive; be capable of vital functions. 

     Therefore, to survive is to merely be in existence or alive…to be living and breathing. Perhaps I am selfish, but merely existing is not good enough for me. Moreover, surviving some hellacious experience is not enough.

thrive –verb:1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful; to grow or develop vigorously; flourish.

      Thriving on the other hand is more than just surviving. Thriving is spiritual, emotional, and mental growth. And guess what…it is expensive…it is going to cost you grueling battles with your fears, insecurities, guilt, and everything else stowed away in that corner of your closet. So we need to ask ourselves, is it better to struggle with the intimidating/ruthless tides of emotions and thrive…or is it better to pack it all away and simply survive? Overall, it is better to thrive…yet there are times when we need to survive first before we can even began to think about thriving. There are no right or wrong ways, better ways?? Sure, but never right or wrong. 
     We all have anger we hold onto. Make the decision to let it go and release it to where it belongs…anywhere but inside of you. As any good bartender would say, “You don’t gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell out of here.” Bye bye, Anger…I am sure we will meet again…but our rendezvous will be much shorter than they ever have in the past. So don’t bother with that bulky over-sized luggage you love to bring, an overnight bag will do. Thanks for company, I definitely wont be missing it…:)

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